Kathleen is…

Status updates are to Facebook as stonefruit is to summer.

December 1

Kathleen is seeing most of Brisbane by foot. 11:02pm – the only way to travel.

Kathleen is finally buying something which she hopes will make her life a lot easier and cheaper. 11:24pm – also a bit weirder. But definitely easier and cheaper.

December 2

Kathleen is wondering if things wouldn’t be simpler if one of her favourite actors didn’t happen to look like someone she is fond of for entirely different reasons. 12:27am – A situation which is no longer a continuing problem. Sigh.

Kathleen is pretty sure she won’t have any dry clothes left after this weather. 12:33am – And still it rains.

Kathleen is writing cards. 3:56pm

December 3

Kathleen is well-slept, for the novelty value. 9:56am – Sleep is boring!

December 4

Kathleen is not bright eyed and bushy tailed. 8:55am – Bright eyed and bushy tailed is boring!

Kathleen is falling behind. 10:41am

Kathleen is finding little pieces of paper with faces drawn on them. 11:32am – This happens to me from time to time.

Kathleen is needing colour in her office – even the mysterious faces are monochromatic. 3:30pm – And staring, with wide black eyes.

December 5

Kathleen is making headway. 12:01pm

Kathleen is eating chicken that tastes like liverwurst. 2:27pm – I wish I could remember this.

Kathleen is about to flee to Crystal’s graduation! 4:25pm

Kathleen is happy she just remembered she can get there by CityCat! 4:27pm – The way to travel.

December 6

Kathleen is thinking that with the news vans and the window washers and the chinese dancers and the construction works her building looks like a scene from Where’s Wally. 9:48am

Kathleen is drawing freaky wolf-things with masks… obviously NaNoWriMo hasn’t worn off yet. 11:18am – It never does.

Kathleen is speaking with exclamation marks! Because the martian invasion is upon us! 2:33pm – Here come the drums…

Kathleen is worried that her firm seems to be dangerously low on teabags. 5:50pm – They’re like little parachutes.

December 8

Kathleen is building up a collection of stubby coolers, which is alarmingly out of character. 9:45am – What’s written on the camel race one is just alarming.

Kathleen is having trouble deciding what to wear – everything looks so good! 5:17pm – No sir, no problems with self-esteem here, officer.

December 9

Kathleen is finished uploading her USA photos! 7:49am – This is quite an achievement for me.

Kathleen is the arbiter of cool. 9:45pm – It still cracks me up that someone actually said this.

Kathleen is trying not to list all the sweet things she ate this weekend. 10:02pm – But they were good.

December 10

Kathleen is in painnnn, but it is all her own fault which makes it worse. 10:10am – I do not know why I was in pain. It might have been to do with the sweet things.

Kathleen is glad she keeps written time sheets. 2:36pm – Because it gets you out of trouble.

Kathleen is the Martha Stewart of the inner west. 10:12pm – Someone said this, too, but it was in relation to a snowflake made out of a tortilla so I’m not letting it go to my head.

December 11

Kathleen is trying to remember the concerts she went to this year. 9:46am – Lots and lots.

Kathleen is fond of fetta. 2:23pm – And understatement.

December 12

Kathleen is regal. 8:54am – But modest.

Kathleen is feeling very ordinary in 1/4. The other 3/4s are fine. 10:18am – Like the curate’s egg.

Kathleen is toughing this out in tea and stockinged feet. 10:25am – Universal panaceas, if you will permit me the redundancy.

Kathleen is full of chicken. 2:47pm – Among other things.

Kathleen is thinking about bears in ill-fitting hats. 3:19pm – Specifically these ones, but there’s a facebook group as well.

Kathleen is now possessed of two bung legs. 9:01pm – Kathleens viewing silver screens are falling down the stairs…

Kathleen is learning to spell subtly. 9:50pm – Subversive linguistics.

December 13

Kathleen is using caffeine as a meal substitute. 9:12am – With interesting results.

Kathleen is not sure if the deodorising foot powder was a joke. 11:33am – She doesn’t think it is open to that interpretation.

Kathleen is kind of over this whole “work” thing. 2:52pm – Who started it, anyway.

Kathleen is address hunting. 11:20pm – She wishes they were still called Directions.

December 14

Kathleen is watching a pelican playing chicken with a council ferry. 8:48am – She is carefully not making predictions, having known a wedge-tail eagle to take out a ute.

Kathleen is listening to her neck crunch. 12:55pm – This is the soundtrack to your life.

December 17

Kathleen is not quite sure how she gets into discussions about the legal & ethical implications of magic mushrooms. 9:57am – Well, actually, it’s called living in Brisbane.

Kathleen is feeling like she has a cold but it might be the result of reading an entire Georgette Heyer novel out loud in less than two days. 10:31am – Time not wasted.

Kathleen is hungry. 12:36pm – Lock your doors.

Kathleen is preparing to brave the GPO. 4:28pm – It’s beginning to feel a lot like Christmas / everywhere you go / there’s a mob in Queen’s Plaza’s court / armed with heavy things they’ve bought / and a line the length of the mall in the GPO.

Kathleen is admiring her own hair. 4:39pm – What’s not to like?

Kathleen is buying cds over the internets again. 6:18pm – Bought 5 on the strength of one song. Not regretting it.

Kathleen is finding it difficult to do any work while listening to Jason Webley. 6:43pm – That would be the one song.

Kathleen is finding it difficult to do any work at all. Particularly in the dark. 8:48pm – All the dinosaurs are running willld.

December 18

Kathleen is deleting email forwards on general principal. 9:02am – It’s not me, it’s you.

Kathleen is in receipt of Moet & Chandon Brut Imperial. 11:10am – Work not all bad.

Kathleen is thinking the trouble with playing detective is, sometimes you find things. 4:31pm – Don’t know what it was, but probably not the Moet.

December 19

Kathleen is wondering what to do, because she has read, written, drawn and got all her time for the day and it’s only 5.26pm. 5:27pm See, the thing with disorganisation is that it’s rarely boring.

Kathleen is happy because her etsy purchases and her German/English parallel Bible arrived today. 5:36pm – One was beautifully wrapped, the other wraps beautiful things.

December 20

Kathleen is looking forward to lunch. 10:56am – I hope it did not disappoint.

Kathleen is wishing very much that she looked like her photoshopped picture. 9:20pm

Kathleen is skipping late night shopping to play with photoshop and talk to Leigh-Anne. 11:20pm

December 21

Kathleen is mystified by the sudden proliferation of limousines. 12:02pm – What do they do the rest of the year?

Kathleen is not quite sure where the last 20 minutes went. 12:23pm – A glitch in the Matrix.

Kathleen is alarmed that she appears to have actually lost a week and a half, if her desk calendar is creditable. 12:47pm – Creditable or not, it is very annoying.

Kathleen is accumulating bottles of wine. 4:57pm – They just keep appearing.

December 26

Kathleen is eating too much peanut butter fudge. 5:51pm – But what’s too much?

December 27

Kathleen is wishing for a faster internet connection. 6:05pm – If anyone has an old car, there’s a telecom exchange no-one on my parent’s street will say a word against you for crashing into.

7 thoughts on “Kathleen is…

  1. Only for this reason. I have vague ideas of telling a story through facebook status updates. Maybe. Or making them exceptionally unreliable.

  2. Mind you, you might think ‘I wouldn’t want to call myself witty, though all my friends say I am’, upon which I will remind you this is the year of Not Being Very Embarrassed, which gives you leave to have a realistic and/or high opinion of yourself, and apologise to no-one. Yay for self esteem!


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